Ash Wednesday...reflections of Self

Because I do not hope to turn again

Because I do not hope

Because I do not hope to turn

Desiring this man’s gift and that man’s scope

I no longer strive to strive towards such things

(Why should the aged eagle stretch its wings?)

Why should I mourn

The vanished power of the usual reign?

Because I do not hope to know again

The infirm glory of the positive hour

Because I do not think

Because I know I shall not know

The one veritable transitory power

Because I cannot drink

There, where trees flower, and springs flow, for there

Is nothing again

Because I know that time is always time

And place is always and only place

And what is actual is actual only for one time

And only for one place

I rejoice that things are as they are and

I renounce the blessed face

And renounce the voice

Because I cannot hope to turn again

Consequently I rejoice, having to construct something

Upon which to rejoice

And pray to God to have mercy upon us

And I pray that I may forget

These matters that with myself I too much discuss

Too much explain

Because I do not hope to turn again

Let these words answer

For what is done, not to be done again

May the judgment not be too heavy upon us

Because these wings are no longer wings to fly

But merely vans to beat the air

The air which is now thoroughly small and dry

Smaller and dryer than the will

Teach us to care and to not care

Teach us to sit still

 

Each one of us has our 'Ash Wednesday' moments in life....sometimes in the singular and sometimes plural.In 40 imperious lines the incomparable T S Elliot skimmed off the essence of what we live for.How much value have we created for others?how much space have we given them?And in giving space to others have we created any for ourselves?

 

Somewhere in our everyday actions lies the answer,but we are too busy to try and grasp.I hear talk of working to ones strength,of maintaining a status,self esteem,ego.

 

I dont hear talk of just working upon our weakness,our faults.The education system is in the grip of the "Alpha" image.Do not show your softness or others will take advantage.Do not be nice lest you be mistaken for weakness.

 

Don't you as the reader feel an immense pressure when you wake up in the morning to having to live up to your image?I have seen ruthless bastards cry...so I know that it takes more effort to appear strong than to show your real self with its multiple frailities?

 

I do.

 

In this obsession to create and maintain an image we lose so much of who we really are that we forget the simple pleasures of life,of the minute things in Life that give Joy!!Happiness is not a pursuit.And it never will be.

 

The Celebrities and filmstars are not different but a mere reflection of our own self.Yet we criticise them without bothering to see the man in the mirror.That is deja vu`.

 

In the end the guilt gets some.I do not say that you should share your deepest,darkest fears(though I dont see any harm)but do SHARE.It wont make you  different,yes,it might take a little burden of your conscience!In the cosmic whole of things...our individual existence is of the minutest example.Do you remember what you were doing on this particular day a decade back??And if you are still not convinced,ask your neighbour!!!!Listen to the gist behind the platitudes...and you will find a hollow echo.

 

Trust me YOU WILL NOT LIKE IT!