A Dreamer's Song of Fear

We will never know if George Mallory was the first man to climb Everest.When asked just before the climb on the north east col where he disappeared for ever in 1924,why he wanted to climb Everest,his reply,"Because Its There" are not only the most famous three words spoken in mountaineering,they also illustrate why man as an animal(sic)has attained the numero uno status on the planet.

 Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
                                        - Edgar Allan Poe

Are we not all dreamers?some more restless than others,but restless nevertheless.We may not wander the oceans to discover continents like Columbus did or travel the continents like Ibn Batuta,or be the first woman to fly an airplane - Amelia Earhart.

Yet,there lies in all of us a certain yearning,an urge to do things that we feel are beyond our abilities,fears that are beyond our control.

How many try?I mean really try!

Most are afraid of failing,some of the shame of failing,a few of the fear of failure.Those miniscule,minute minority that truly Lives without ego become the Thor HeyerDahls who ride the Oceans with their Kon Tikis.

The true titans who we worshipped as Apollo,Athena,Artemis,Zeus....the true Greek Gods.Fear and Dreams that push us in disproportionate avenues and the half that dominates gives us our personality.

I have known true fear a few times....being chased by an enraged Elephant at Betla Wildlife Santuarty,an icy,dark night on the Kedarkantha Mountain,attack by a Himalayan Black Bear in Garwhal.First,it was  simply a relief that I had survived.Second, the fear of having felt fear,third,the question of whether I had behaved as expected.

Cette clarté sombre qui tombe des étoiles - Pierre Corneille

This dark brightness that falls from the stars

Fear is a creative urge,it makes me explore the limits of my abilities and it makes me feel alive.I cannot claim to know how you the Reader have felt or how you understand your dreams through your fears.I certainly am trying to to come to terms with mine!

And it feels like a half awakened dream where the real story lies just beyond comprehension.

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The River of Faith - Ganga

Paens have been written about the Ganges since time immemorial.Documentaries made,battle fought,kingdoms have come and gone but the River goes on.

Sitting on the frigid bank one autumnal evening at Gangotri I thought about myself.About the changes I had seen along its banks in three decades.Trekking on the Pindari Glacier at Gaumukh where the river appears out of a cave shaped like the mouth of a cow.Its so called landing place from its celestial abode.

The rushed gigantic flow through the "surajkund" at Gangotri,where it meets the first town that sprung up on its banks.Onto Rudraprayag where the Bhagirathi and Mandaki merge to form what we know as the river 'Ganges'.

On it flows to Haridwar and Rishikesh where millions of Indians and foreigners including the Steve Jobs of the world come to find spirituality.The "aarti"with lighted lamps in the evenings,the incense in the air,the thousands of voices raised in prayer.

To the confluence at prayag in Allahabad.Its amazing how different the journeys of India's 2 major rivers are-the Ganga and The Yamuna.At one point they are separated by just a couple of mountain valleys and maybe 50kms as the crow flies.But while the Yamuna loses strength and becomes a muddy ooze at Delhi,the Ganga seems to gain strength and power as it progress over the flood plains.

The sheer human vitality of the 'Kumbh"Mela,the meeting of the Ganga,Yamuna and the mysterious never seen Saraswati river can only be experienced Live.When i was 10years old had gone with my parents and we hired a boat to take us out into the middle of the river where the Saraswati was supposed to flow almost below the waters of the two other rivers.I dipped my hand in the river and felt an ice cold current when the water was blood warm.Could i really feel another river or was it my imagination?

Almost at the end of a 2000km journey the Ganga or Hooghly flows laziliy past Kolkata where the royal bengal tigers would once have come to drink its waters.Into a riverine delta it turns winding into a thousand different tributaries and islands that are large enough for human habitation.

From frigid tundra to hot tropical forests have been provided by its waters and I who have rafted on its waters,dipped to wash my sins(I hope)at Har-Ki-Pauri in Haridwar.

The Guru of Innovation

"Your time is limited so do not waste it living someone else's life.Don't be trapped by Dogma-which is living with the results of other people's thinking.Don't let the noise of other's opinion drown out your own inner voice.And most important,have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.They somehow already know what you truly want to be.Everthing else is secondary".Steve Jobs

There comes a tide in the lives of mice and men when some rise up over others and stand as a beacon to what each one of us wants to be.I see around me a lot of brave men and women who struggle in their daily lifes,who innovate to keep their children and their spouses happy,who find new ways of giving joy......yet....we only remember a few like a Mother Teresa,Steve Jobs,Nelson Mandela etc

Its important to have role models and equally important to understand what they mean to us and what they want to say.For me my teacher in standard IX-X,Br.Kyle,an Irishman,remains the closest thing to god on earth that I have known.His insights into my character almost 23 years after i studied under him continues to amaze me and the subtle way he understood and encouraged my love for books and the arts and sports and turned me from a shy,introvert kid into a confident man has its roots and genesis in 1988.

I am sure each one of us has such examples of people who have touched our life and made a difference...we must hold onto those memories and spread the positives around.The selfishness that pervades our cities is self defeating,instead of leaving a better legacy for our children what we succeed in doing is to teach them to be more selfish,repressive and dogmatic.

There is a Steve Jobs in all of us just that we are too afraid of leaving the safety of the herd to chase our dreams.Afraid of failing.Afraid of ridicule.Afraid of being too different?Yet on FB i find people i shall not name,whose middle name is "conformity",paying verbose tribute to the Guru!

Walk in the rain,jump of a mountain,glide down a waterfall......Its just this One Life!!

My City:Calcutta-Part II

Our administrators say that they will make our city akin to London,but do we seriously need another London?The squalor that greets the centuries old streets has become a close friend,the stench could be bottled and sold on the Champs Elysee as some kind of retro perfume that reminds of an older age when sanitation even in welfare states was a misnomer!

One bursts out of the cloying streets onto the banks of the majestic Hooghly,a broad brown serpent lazily turning towards the Bay of Bengal a few hundred kilometres down the road,its current like muscles beneath the water.When crossing from one bank to the other on rickety steamers i used to sometimes catch a glimpse of a porpoise or river dolphin,alas the pollution has killed them mostly.No fancy yachts or ships just a few fishermen in their row boats reminding of times when the jungle must have grown right down to the banks and the Tigers would have come to the water's edge for a drink.

The Victoria Memorial,the National Library,The Mint,Fort William-buildings from Calcutta's colonial past,of the exploits of Hastings,Cornwallis,Curzon,Bentinck-the birth of a city and of institutions that still endure.

The Maidan-on a monsoon afternoon,glowing green in the rain with the far corners enveloped in mist adding a multi-dimensional quality,a space to walk barefeet on the grass,Calcutta's own Hyde Park.The horse drawn buggies that a century ago must have been a rage!Now alas the horses side drooping with hunger and a mule like staunchness that transfers itself to the inhabitants.

The butchers on the road give new meaning to "fresh meat",the cacophony of traffic-is it dust or petrol fumes that rise into the atmosphere?

Yet...

The only city that has produced Tagore,Jagadish Chandra Bose,Mother Teresa,Netaji Subhas,Ramanujam and Amartya Sen.Where there is a street that only houses book shops-College Street.Where street theatre was born and Satyajit Ray gave us science fiction in Bengali.

Its true the city you live in trasfers a bit of itself into your soul.It has in me.Calcutta will always be Calcutta to me,i do not want another London.

A large city cannot be experientially known; its life is too manifold for any individual to be able to participate in it-Aldous Huxley

Oh Calcutta!My Park Street

Unfortunately,I was born a few years after the heydays of the "Flower Power"revolution and the time when Park Street never slept!When I started working in ANZ Grindlays Bank i met a gentleman called Mr P N Malhotra,who then owned the Blue Fox,an iconic restaurant that gave India-Pam Crain,Eric Segal as well as Usha Uthup(she began at Trincas).His joi d'vivre was a throwback to those hedonistic days which he would dwell upon.

So too Mr Wadhwa,manager of Trincas that was the jazz and blues centre of Calcutta.I am told that a new documentary is being made about Carlton Kito,the jazz maestro who played with legends like Dizzy Gillespie.

Music was but just a single symphony of what was the heart of Calcutta.The pop up restaurants of Chinatown serving beer without license along with steaming dim sum,the Mughal food of Nizams,mixed with the authentic bengali fish curry and rice.Live music and the Samba taught by the other Kito.

I must mention that Bengal has produced more rockers and its the only place that has rock music being played in the local Bengali language.Its sad that the Waldorf has moved from its original location on park Street to a side street but that is where I had my introduction to chinese food and chilly crabs!

I wanted to write about Calcutta,instead I have written an ode to Park Street....a lot more to write about yet...

Most Exquisite Trekking in The Himalayas(Roopkund or Rupin Pass?)

This is a question that I am asked often – and one I find very difficult to answer. It is so hard to choose between the two great treks that to be safe I have always stuck to a middle path. I have pointed out the pros and cons of both Roopkund and Rupin Pass but consciously never taken a stand on either of them. I don’t think I have made many friends this way.

 

So finally, for the first time I am going to choose one of them as a better trek. My choice may come as a surprise to many and I would love to read your comments.

 

First some background on why both are great treks.

 

To me Roopkund is priceless for two reasons. I have never seen high altitude meadows as beautiful as they are at Ali and Bedni Bugyal. Yes, there are other great high altitude meadows in our country, but the way Ali and Bedni Bugyal reveal themselves, a layer at a time makes them unique. Take for example, when you pop out into Ali Bugyal just at the end of your climb from the Didina oak forest. A minute earlier you were in the darkness of the oak forest and suddenly a lushness of green opens up that puts any golf course to shame.

 

When you crest Ali Bugyal, more of the meadows reveal themselves, this time stretching in a giant arc ahead of you. White mountain peaks jut out from the green edges of the meadows. By the time you reach Bedni Bugyal and camp beside the still waters of the Bedni Kund, surrounded in the greenery, even the die hard trekker who has seen it all bucks down to what nature can show.

 

 

The second thing that makes Roopkund priceless is the adventure on snow. At 15,000 during any time of the year the Roopkund flank is almost always covered in snow. Inching your way, climbing the flank to reach Roopkund is a thrill that lingers many years after you have completed the trek. It is no surprise I have found many breaking down in tears when they have reached Roopkund, such is the sense of accomplishment.

 

The Rupin Pass trek on the other hand has three great things going for me.

 

The first is the surprises on the trek. Every day, every hour the scenery changes to reveal a new sight. I have documented a few here, but I assure you this is not a complete list.

 

The second delectable thing about the Rupin Pass trek is the Dhanderas Thatch campsite. It is probably one of the most exquisite Himalayas has to offer. Snuggled at the bottom of a perfect “U” shaped glacial valley – it lies on the bed of a lush green meadow. From your view at the bottom of the meadow, snow patched cliffs tower on all three sides. In front, the Rupin cascades down from the snowy Dhauladar range for over two thousand feet through snow bridges to form the famous Rupin water fall. I have to admit, the Saruwas Thatch, Upper water fall, Rati Phere and Ronti Gad campsites also give the Dhanderas Thatch campsite a run for its money. They are as pretty and many trekkers would debate about them as well.

 

 

The third thing that I love about the Rupin Pass trek is the pass crossing day. The alpine setting is so stunning that it takes time to absorb the vision of snow 360 degrees around you. As the trail goes around bends of the mountain side, over snow fields, over snow ridges and finally comes to rest at the bottom of the gully that leads to Rupin Pass, it is difficult not to feel overpowered by the occasion. The climb through the gully to the narrow Rupin pass and the glissading descent on the other side to the Sangla valley is moments that freeze in time.

 

So which of the two – Roopkund or Rupin Pass do I choose as the better trek?

 

Well, it is tough one, but I finally choose the Rupin Pass. For two reasons: While the Roopkund trek has its “beauty” quotient, Rupin Pass always gets me for its surprises and variety.

 

It is like this. Roopkund is like an art house movie. Everything is classy about it. It is perfect in every way – perfect oak forests, perfect meadows and perfect alpine settings. The Rupin Pass trek on the other hand is like a bollywood blockbuster with its masala. There are long stretches and there are short walks. There are dense forests and there are open tracts. There are quaint villages which are centuries old and there is modernity. There is a lot going on all the time with its sudden scenery changes. And like a blockbuster it ends in a flourish with a thrilling pass climb. While class has its place, the commoner always loves a masala trek. That’s why for me the Rupin Pass is a better trek.

 

For the first time I have voiced my opinion on two treks that I love dearly. I know my choice of Rupin Pass will not go down with the Roopkund fans. I wait for your comments.

 

The Birds of Zimbabwe

When the monsoon breaks in India and on days when nature reminds us that we are still intruders and thoughts turn to Hemingway or Joseph Conrad and the need to smell the musty smell of books on a rainy sunday afternoon I remember the countless treks in distant wild places and I wonder how much of this world will I ever be able to really experience.

The world's largest extinct volcano in Tanzania-Ngorongoro crater,a wild blissful place that holds in its bowels a diverse animal kingdom,for hours i have sat watching leopards strategise their hunts with patience and cunning,lions use their organisational skills to bring down wildebeest and the impala,zebra,kudu use giraffes as sentinels to warn of danger.

Another are the myterious Chimanimani mountains of Zimbabwe with their ancient lost cities,which some say where built by the Carthaginians or the mythical people of Altantis.The carved stone birds of Zimbabwe are all thats left,I remember the goosebumps one evening jeep ride with the Nguni guides and the compass running wild with night falling,apparently a hill of magnetite that affected the compass(we have something similar in Ladakh).

The days of Freedom are passing and our descendents might be lucky to find a few open spaces,some zoos;to them the animals will be more cartoons than anything to spend hours watching.An Age passes and with it its own forms of pleasure,pastimes,hobbies and all its ilk.

Thank my stars I aint immortal and I won't live to see humankind caged in concrete cells!To me those Birds of Zimbabwe carved in silent friezes are the epitome of all that was once wild and free...